Despite living on my own and holding down a full time job I do not feel like an adult. I know I’m an adult in terms of age and I have the social habits of a 60 year old, but I still feel… unsettled. I don’t know what adulthood is supposed to feel like I suppose, but I’m still resistant to being told what to do and I don’t accept my future as set or stable in any way. Is this a generational thing? The lack of children in my life or on the horizon? The complete lack of a real romantic life?
I feel like nothing is permanent in my life and everything is on the verge of major change or at least has the potential to shift radically. I actually believe I need to give into my chaotic urges more than I do if I want to be happy. Maybe I’m an adult wishing I acted more like an adolescent because I spent all my time as an adolescent trying to act like an adult.
I do wonder if the inability to grow up is a generational thing. I think Gina is the only person I know who seems to embrace adulthood. Everyone else is just an adolescent paying their own bills, myself included.
If I didn’t have to regress to my parent’s house for a year, I’d consider myself an adult. IDK, you guys are the ones listening to fucking NPR and watching PBS like old people. ;)